A Second Chance...

Second chances...

Yeah, man...

Imagine yourself as a fighter.  Having worked your way through the ups and downs of a career, you've come to that one fight that is to determine where you are headed from this point forward.  If you win, it could mean the life you've always dreamed of--or at least the one you've worked for.

You lose...then the penalties attached to not coming out on top could vary from a minor setback to a catastrophic spiral down the well of despair.

You're holding your own for the time being.  Bringing a little more reality to the topic.  You're making ends meet, not going hungry, getting by without having to overextend yourself too much.  You aspire to be more, but that break just hasn't come yet.  The championship is comfort and a chance to sit back and just take a breather if even for a minute.  It's knowing that when you wake up in the morning, things will be a little bit better, just a little bit sweeter, than the day before.  As long as you are taking care of the simple things that can sustain your "fight," you're good.  Just getting by without getting knocked out will work for now.

That's when the fists of life knock the living s*** out of you.  It was something you hadn't expected.  You thought you were at least giving enough of what you had to stay in the ring.


 


You're beaten...broken...bruised.  The stress of wanting to be more than what you are, greater than the person you have become, hangs low over your head as the referee begins to count you out.  Your body hurts as would any type of pain, but it's your spirit and mind that hurt more...

I thought that when I got arrested the 2nd time, my fight had ended.  I was a habitual offender with multiple DUIs on my record.  The financial toll would force me to invest money I had planned for other ideas into saving my own ass from the most adverse of consequences following a guilty plea.  The relationship I thought I was heading toward would've surely fallen apart.  I can't really see a woman being interested in introducing me to her family knowing that I had a criminal record when the most anyone of them may have ever had was a speeding ticket.  It's like I wouldn't even begin to know how to explain to someone's parents that I have been to jail for an ability to consume an embarrassing amount of alcohol and driving anywhere, knowing the consequences (after the first arrest). 

Spiritually, I just knew I would fall apart.  Having not been satisfied with most of my life's experiences up to that point (other than a few occasions), I believed that this would be the end.  I would become just another statistic to the system, my obscure existence shrouded in mediocrity, falling a slave to my own destructive devices.

July 15, 2011

I could remember walking outside of that jail that Friday morning and never smelling air so sweet. Yes, some days there was a semblance of light that shone through the Plexiglas walls of the institution; however, this was a different kind of feeling. I had gone into my sentence afraid of what might happen on the outside without me.

Would I lose my relationship? Would I lose my job? Would I lose the love of others whom I hold dear? Would I lose me?

So often we find themselves on the wrong side of life, encountering life-changing experiences that test our resolve to remain strong in our convictions, faith, and dreams. Each time the doors shut behind me, I felt the sting of failure. I felt my family had no reason to look at me the same. YOU could not look at me the same.

My conversations with God had gotten longer at night, evolving from simply praying for my safety during this time to asking for strength for my family and friends to appealing to HIS mercy for A SECOND CHANCE.

A twinge of envy stabs you as you watch someone get freed when you’re in JAIL (remember that reference I gave you about the difference between jail and prison). At least that’s after the first person you see leave. You hope that your name is called as soon as your time is up and that they can move you out as soon as possible. Name after name is called and what was envy now becomes nothing more than hope. Hope that the person that just got out doesn’t screw things up this time around. Hope that they can get themselves straightened out and put their lives back on track to do something other than come back to jail. Hope is, ultimately, replaced by dreams—that when you leave, you would do nothing to waste a SECOND CHANCE on life.




R&B singer El Debarge returned to the world of music from a two year stint in jail (narcotics charges brought on by addiction) with what I considered to be one of his greatest songs in 2010. And a year later, the words from the chorus of “Second Chance” spoke volumes to the testament I felt moved to deliver to others as I continue to write this blog.

So tonight I lay me down to sleep...
And pray my soul to keep...
In that your love will rescue me, for the rest of my life...
I live to say good bye...
To all the promises left behind...
Here we are you and I...
A second chance...

When you get a second chance, there should be no doubt that the best you is ahead. Your best chance to live, love, and serve are now in front of you. A walk of faith is now required to quit dreaming and start realizing that the quality of your life doesn’t have to be predicated by the errors of your past. WE can bounce back from this. The chance to be great has not passed us.

So...take a deep breath. Open your arms wide. Embrace the opportunity. Say goodbye to what we leave behind.

And say hello to “a second chance.”